WE GOT DRUNK AND WATCHED “HARRY AND MEGHAN: A ROYAL ROMANCE”

May 19, 2018 thedhk

We watched the Lifetime Original Movie, Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance the only way you can… with a big ol’ bottle of wine.

Murray Fraser and Parisa Fitz-Henly as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. – Lifetime and the ACTUAL Royal couple – Reuters

Earlier today Prince Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten-Windsor married Rachel Meghan Markle after a f”fiary tale romane. If you’re feeling witdhrawl over the Royal Wedding you can always risk checking out the Lifetime Original inerpretation of their courtship: Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance.

Overall the movie was average for what you’d expect from Lifetime fare. I mean, it was no Wrapped Up in Christmas or even Liz & Dick. The rush to get the movie made in time for the Royal Wedding is apparent. Murray Fraser as Prince Harry is passable if you squint and are imbibing copious amounts of wine. His acting credits prior to this were minimal, he is also definitely not a ginger. Parisa Fitz-Henly as Meghan Markle is a bit better cast… in so far as at least she is mixed. I wonder if Fitz-Henly and Markle were ever at the same casting calls? You know someone who started on General Hospital and Deal or No Deal as Briefcase model #24, #11, and #12 auditioned for at least one Lifetime movie……..

The film skips over the formative parts of her life (which are honestly the parts I was most curious about, as I really haven’t cared about the hubbub surrounding the wedding until now). They also give Harry a big pass on some of his historical faux pas (remember the Nazi costume he wore for Halloween? Yeah, I do too).

Overall the film is middling, if it weren’t timed with the Royal Wedding, it’d be way more of a dud.

Here are some of the thoughts we had, they get progressively less cohesive/at a certain point I stopped caring enough to take notes:

The film opens soon after Diana’s funeral

Is that supposed to be Charles?
- That’s definitely supposed to be Charles.

Steve Coulter and Deboah Ramsay as Prince William and Camila Bowles – Lifetime

Botswana doesn’t look like this. This looks like Mount Diablo.
Remember when William had hair?
- Remember when William was the handsome one.

Bonnie Soper as Princess Diana – Lifetime

Diana flashback

Oh yikes Diana, that eyeliner.

Post Diana funeral

(A lion shows up)
- Friend A: Yeah this happened.
- Friend B: Did it?!
- Friend A: NO.
Come on Lifetime, shaker cabinets were not in style back then.

Meghan’s intro on the set of Suits

What a super feminist Meghan intro.

Adult Prince Harry’s intro

Omg they let him (William) have hair still.
Is that supposed to be Kate?
- Kate +45 pounds.
2016 was brutal.
- I felt that too.
Are you trying to tell me the costume designer on Suits is the reason they met?

Murray Fraser and Parisa Fitz-Henly in “Botswana” as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. – Lifetime

Their first date

Does that mean the whole place is closed down?
- Or they couldn’t afford extras.

Their SECOND date… in Botswana

There aren’t boa constrictors in Botswana.

Burgess Abernethy, Laura Mitchell, Murray Fraser and Parisa Fitz-Henly as Prince William, Kate Middleton, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. – Lifetime

Meghan’s first time at the Palace

Why’d they pick a Kate who’s lower jaw is bigger than her upper jaw?
Anabella is a bitch. (Anabella doesn’t exist)

Murray Fraser and Parisa Fitz-Henly as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. – Lifetime

We lost track of time or quotes at this point but the following highlights still came through:

A minivan is a Canadian Limo.
Can Lifetime say n*gger?!
This fake Coldplay music…
They’re being really generous with hairlines.
Could they not afford a different attack lion?
Oh the soft focus.

And the final quote from our viewing, and I think a perfect summary is:
“He does fuck all. She’s on Suits.”

Congrats Harry and Meghan?

Actual Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on their wedding day – Reuters